Stuff

I discovered today that Hannah and I are at a very unique spot in terms of the difference in our body size.  For example, (of course this is hypothetical) if I were to wash in hot water an almost brand-new wool sweater from an expensive store in Texas, and then put that newly cleaned sweater in the dryer on the high heat setting, the result would be a sweater that, only hours before fit me, is now the perfect size for Hannah.  If this were to happen, I would hold up the sweater when Hannah arrived home from school and pronounce, "Look, I made you a sweater today."  Hannah would rejoice and Dave would remark, "You mean that really fit you once?"

Joseph came home today from school wearing two bracelets that said "I got caught doing something good today" and a ring that was rewarded to him for good behaviour.  He was very excited and told me that his teacher had 'caught' him lining up the boots outside the classroom without being asked and that he had been very good at school mass that morning.  "Do you think these are things I should do at home, Mom?"  I stared blankly.

Speaking of Joseph, the remarks for the gym portion of his report card were as follows:  Joseph needs to take more responsibility with his physical safety and that of his classmates.  I love the euphemistic stylings of report card comments.  I mean, c'mon, there's a reason that Dave's grade eight students call Joseph 'Joe Dangerous'.  His nonchalant attitude to personal safety was highlighted this week by his umpteenth trip to the secretary's office for an injury.  Each time he is injured the tears are so profuse and the blubbering so unintelligible that Dave is called to the office to interpret.  There have been countless split lips, cut knees and bumped heads.  In fact, Joseph has hit his head so many times in the same place that he has a permanent fibroma marking the spot (essentially, a permanent goose egg).  The latest trip to the office is worthy of mention and even caused Dave to crack a smile.

Apparently Joe was in the bathroom when he tripped or slipped (the blubbering was difficult to decipher) and fell, hitting his head against the urinal.  Even the secretary was trying not to laugh as Joseph recounted the story to his father.  I don't know why hitting one's head on a urinal is so funny, but it just is.

Last but not least, I have discovered that the easiest way to pass the time while running on the treadmill is to read a book on the Kindle e-reader.  My latest read is a short book on grammar.  This is the first book on grammar that I have ever read.  Expect improved usage of the hyphen and semi colon very, very soon.  Exciting stuff.