Isaac: Hope does not disappoint

I apologise in advance if this post is a little long.  Please remember that this blog serves as a photo album for our family.  Thus, events such as Isaac's illness, need to be especially remembered:  memorialised with many photos and details.  Feel free to skim or to read in detail.  I have included in parts the original email that I sent out to many of you during our hospital stay, it is in italics.

When Dave bought us our first iPhone on the March Break I silently rolled my eyes at another gadget.  Little did I know that what I had so quickly judged as something we didn't need would become a lifeline for us in a matter of weeks.  So, pardon the graininess of many of these photos, they were taken with the now-cherished iPhone.

On the night of April 13th, a Saturday, I brought Isaac to our local hospital for the stomach virus that wouldn't die.  Isaac, 2.5 yrs., had, along with the other kids, battled a chest cold and then a G.I. virus.  However, unlike the other children, he just wasn't getting better.  He had become sick on Tuesday with the stomach flu and a fever.  Over the next few days he would rally, beat the fever and begin to drink again.  However, on Saturday, as the day drew to a close, things seem to turn for the worse.
The last thing that I wanted to do was go to the hospital.  The previous weekend Dave had brought Jacob in for an ear and lung infection; I had brought Sarah the next day with a fever and a respiratory virus; and the following day I had returned with Benjamin whose upper arm had intercepted a flying scooter.  I was embarrassed and just wanted one of my children to improve without medical intervention.
Despite my feelings, one look at Isaac and his very real suffering made me realise that I had to go where I did not want to, much like the next day's Gospel. (Thank you, Sarah G.)

Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you girded yourself and walked where you would; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish to go.

 Dave tells me that he wouldn't have let me not go.  Praise God for good fathers and husbands.  So, at 8pm with all the other kids tucked into bed, I put Isaac into the van and drove to the hospital for what I thought would be a quick re-hydration and a return to bed.
It was not to be so.
(As I began this post I quickly realised that 2012-13 could go down as the 'year' of the ambulance for our family.  This realisation made me aware of the fact that I have never posted Sarah's birth story (now 11 months old); I will have to post it, if only for posterity's sake, on her first birthday.)

(On a side note:  think carefully about what you dress your child in when heading to the ER.  Isaac had to wear the same pajama top for the next five days until his discharge!  The blue Tigger pajamas are now a legendary part of his early childhood.)
I arrived at the ER where they treated him for a stomach virus and fever with Tylenol suppositories and Pedialyte given in 15 ml doses every 10-15 minutes.  The small and intermittent doses would hopefully convince his stomach not to begin throwing up again.  I had to note the amount given and the time intervals into the wee hours of the morning.  He was so desperate for the fluid that we had to go for a walk in between each dose in order to keep his mind off of the bottle.  He quickly noted the water fountain which we would pass on our walks!

The nurse kept track of his breathing, oxygen saturation levels, heart rate and temperature at half-hour intervals.  When we arrived all of his vitals were a concern and indicative of dehydration.

The nurse suggested that I use the wheelchair for our walks as I was carrying him around and wearing myself out.

At about 2am, it became obvious that he wasn't improving with re-hydration alone.  The doctor ordered an IV and bloodwork.  It was at this point that I noted a sense of real concern descend upon the ER staff.  Extra staff arrived to insert his IV and help with the bloodwork.  I was so overtired and near-panicked by this point that my legs were shaking in shock, much like after childbirth.  I managed to take off my Miraculous Medal and place it around his little neck.  I had a sense of complete loss of control and I increased my prayers and begged the Lord to wake people up in order to pray.  The IV failed but the tech was able to get the necessary blood samples.  For some inexplicable reason, Isaac rallied for around 30 minutes and began to play in the sink.  I think I took these photos because I thought that we might be turning a corner.

There was no corner turned and he quickly became frantic.  He would sleep for ten minutes and then wake up in obvious discomfort.  There was nothing that I could do to help him and we continued in this state until night became day.  During this time the bloodwork results came back.  All was normal except for his white blood cells which were elevated at 13.  If they had been above 14 a bacterial infection would have been confirmed.  The doctor ordered another round of bloodwork at 8am.  I wondered if such a delay was wise.
Dave and I were in contact throughout this time and at 6am he told me that I had to come home as Sarah needed to nurse and I needed to sleep.  He biked down and I quickly drove home where I plunked the kids in front of the TV, put Sarah for a morning nap, showered and managed to sleep for 3 hours.  When I awoke, I called Dave who told me that the new ER shift had immediately put Isaac on an IV, noted a slight cough, ordered a chest x-ray which revealed a massive pneumonia on the left lung and placed him on a super-dose of antibiotic.  We were floored by the diagnosis but relieved to finally put a name to Isaac's suffering.  Dave then told me that CHEO had ordered Isaac down to Ottawa and that he would be brought by air ambulance within a few hours.  (Here we are strapped onto the gurney and attached to every sort of monitor getting ready to be placed on the helicopter.  Clearly my right cheek was doing some strange sort of panic-induced flush!)  Throughout this time we really and truly had no idea whether or not Isaac was going to survive this illness.  Hospital staff have a way of growing very silent and serious when something critical is underway.  I try not to overhear whispered conversations and information relayed by telephone between hospitals.  I just prayed and prayed and prayed.
Dave was Dave:  he smiled, nodded encouragement at me and never once let on that he would later wonder at the significance of Isaac's name - the son whom Abraham offered up in a sacrifice of faith only to be given him back at the last moment.

After getting off the phone with Dave, I rushed madly around the house trying to pack for me, Sarah, Dave and Isaac.  I kept trying to eat and have a cup of tea but my mind was in such a whir that I couldn't settle to any task for more than a few minutes.  Thankfully my mother-in-law had arrived and I knew that the other children were now in good hands.  She also suggested that we bring Hannah with us in order to help with Sarah.  Thank God for that suggestion:  Hannah was a God-send and introduced a wonderful sense of normalcy and humour, as well as another set of hands.)  I then set off for the hospital with Hannah and Sarah, stopping briefly at our church to ask for prayers.

We were airlifted out (first chopper ride for mom) and Dave, Hannah and Sarah drove down to meet us.  We were admitted into isolation by Sunday evening and the girls and I checked into the Rotel (Rotary Hotel which is in view of Isaac's window) and Dave has been spending the nights with Isaac.  (A teacher will do anything for a holiday...)  The boys are with their paternal grandparents at the farm from which reports of feistiness are regularly issued.

Sarah was mostly oblivious to the change in circumstances.  She nursed, slept and lived off of Activia yogurt, vanilla-flavoured.

After arrival at CHEO:  we were all so tired; however, adrenaline is powerful stuff and I really did feel OK despite not having eaten or slept in quite a while.  The morning-shift nurse at BB told me that she calls pneumonia the sleeping sickness and was very upset that Isaac hadn't already been put on antibiotics during the night.  She was a God-send as she reassured me that I hadn't been negligent and thanked me that I had brought him in when he did.  Medical staff really do care:  I ran into the night-nurse a week later at the pharmacy.  She told me that she had called CHEO personally wondering how Isaac was doing.

The girls high-fiveing.  I think that Hannah enjoyed every moment of this terrible adventure:  a hotel, restaurant food, unlimited TV, no brothers and no school.

Isaac chained to his hospital bed by an IV line.  This is on Day 3 when he was allowed his first popsicle.  He licked it once and insisted on holding it until it melted into an orange puddle.  I still haven't been able to remove the orange stains from his pajama top.

He clutched his blankie throughout every minute of his hospital stays.  He would throw it over his eyes in an attempt to block out his surroundings and would rub it earnestly between his middle and index fingers.  If he couldn't find his blanket, he would scream frantically for Inkie.  He hasn't let it out of his sight since arriving home.  He was so traumatised by the events that anything unfamiliar was completely unwelcome. We bought him new Superman pajamas on his first night out of the hospital:  he insisted that they were Joe's and screamed if we tried to put them on him.  It was only just a few days ago that he would wear anything but his winter boots on his feet, in 20 degree weather.

This video was made for Jacob on his tenth birthday.  He had prayed for Isaac's healing on the twins' birthday.  His prayer was answered.

These photos were all taken after Isaac was granted a walking pass which meant that he could be off of his heart-rate and oxygen saturation monitors.  We followed him as he teetered on swollen feet down the hall to a window seat.  We helped him up onto the seat and he looked out at the Ottawa sunset and proclaimed, "Pembroke!"

We have had some ups and downs but, praise God, he has responded well to the powerful antibiotics and is now fever-free without meds.  He is still on an IV drip but at a very low level as his feet became quite swollen (edema) yesterday from the fluids.  The staff were a bit worried about the edema and allowed him to walk around.  He was thrilled to pace the halls with IV in toe (and family) and stand at the window and point at the moon and the cows (?).  He also talked to his brothers and spoke some sentences, which we haven't heard in a while.

He was extremely reluctant to go back into his room and is still quite upset by doctors and nurses.  I have a feeling he will inherit the Culshaw white-coat syndrome!

He is perking up, vitals are good and the fluid on the lung has not increased.  Please pray that he keep going uphill as we are told that things can still turn for the worse on a dime with pneumonia.  Pray that he eats and drinks and that the edema stays away.

The poor little guy lost four pounds over the week and is only just now starting to eat with some normalcy.

His toilet training also went out the window.  Dehydration does keep things in check, though.

Despite freedom from his hospital bed, he was still pretty miserable.

These two weren't.

There have been so many blessings during this time, small and large.  Some of the greatest blessings are:

1.  Fr. Galen came in yesterday and anointed Isaac and brought Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament to Dave and me.  Fr. Galen's presence was immensely comforting, both a cherished friend and a priest.  Literally, Christ walked into the room and the tears flowed and all was well.  (He even offered to do our laundry.)

2.  So many good friends have offered tremendous help:  prayer, places to stay, food, babysitting, godparents fasting for his recovery etc.  It was an especial blessing when my good friend Sarah came to visit on Monday night.  We have felt so surrounded by prayer which has hastened Isaac's recovery and kept us strong and peaceful.  For all of you Ann Voskamp fans, there have been many, many thank yous in this hard place - even for the hard stuff.

3.  In hindsight, we can see so many ways that the Lord was preparing us for this - from the purchase of an iPhone over the March Break to the fact that Sarah is unable to get from lying down to sitting and thus will simply lie down on the hotel floor and go to sleep.  Hannah is proving that her name, Hannah Grace (Grace Grace, grace upon grace) was heavenly inspired.  Not only is she tremendously cool under pressure but she also has a tremendous sense of humour.  It is her 10th birthday today and she has already been embarrassed by the cafeteria staff singing to her.  I found her this morning praying beside her bed for her brother.

4.  A social worker came to see Dave yesterday and told him that a doctor had applied for us to receive funding for all of our hotel and parking bills.  The funding was Ok'd and all of our bills, except for food, are covered.  This was a tremendous blessing for Dave's state of mind!

5.  The CHEO staff are amazing and there is so much goodness here.  Great hope.

When we were discharged the first thing that Dave did was give Isaac a bath in the hospital sink.  He is sitting on the fold out chair-bed on which Dave slept next to Isaac's hospital bed.

This is our first official get-out-of-hospital-free photo.  He clearly doesn't grasp the gravity of the moment.  Hannah is holding the lion that he was given by the air-chopper staff when they flew him down to CHEO.  It is wearing a little shirt that says ORNGE, Flying Lion.  It now sits atop a cupboard in the dining room and Dave insists that it is not to be moved from its exalted position.

The day of our discharge was Hannah's tenth birthday so we went to Montana's where Hannah reluctantly wore a moose hat.  I didn't even see Jacob on his tenth birthday.  All quite bittersweet.

Ten!!!????

At least one girl is still a baby.

The next morning we went to a greasy-spoon diner where Isaac ate half a bagel with cream cheese under a sign that read, "You don't have to be Jewish to love bagels!"  Clearly not.

Sarah ate something other than yogurt.

And Hannah had pancakes with fake maple syrup and smiled anyway.

We are now two weeks out of the hospital and Isaac is making a slow and steady recovery.  He is eating more and more heartily and now that his two weeks of antibiotics have ended he has started to drink a little more than a sip here and a sip there.  He had a chest x-ray on Monday which revealed some remaining pleural effusion.  Thus, he has another x-ray scheduled for this coming Monday.  Hopefully it will be clear.  And, after all of this, we are nothing but humbled and so very, very grateful.  I went for a run on the Saturday following his discharge and mid-run I stopped in at our church with the words of Scripture running through my head, "What? Were not ten healed and only you came back to say thank you?"  When I opened the door to the church, the inside of the building was unusually dark and the empty tomb which is left up throughout the Easter season seemed to glow from the front of the church.  The words sprang immediately from my lips, "Thank you for that empty tomb.  Thank you for giving me back our son."

This time has been extremely difficult with all the unknowns but I can see that it is all part of the formation of our family in the civilization of love.  And now I need to go as Isaac has been granted a walking pass.  We are still in the dark as to departure but will keep you posted.

Thank you all for every prayer, mass and blessing.  "Suffering leads to endurance, endurance leads to proven character, character leads to hope and HOPE does not disappoint."  Lots of love, Elena.

Never has Easter been so poignant.  Hopefully never again.