Thanks Elena for posting this ... I was and still am aware of this major problem living here in "The Big City". I saw evidence of it every day in the kindergarten classes I taught and it worries me so much, it sickens me. I see it every day in the malls and think, " how do the moms today allow their kids out of the house looking like, well, as it says in the article, like hookers! It's terrible, disgusting and very frightening. I had little four and five year olds dressed up like an 18 year old and I'd look at the parents questionably. We were told as teachers that we had to so careful and diplomatic in what we said to the parent with regards to this problem.
So many things to blame, society, the media for sure, retailers, big time!, the education system and parents. I would think that a lot of parents are so busy making a living, etc., that they are not taking the time to fulfill their first and most important responsibility of parenting responsibly. I often wonder why they had kids at all. The children are left on their own to bring themselves up with the (excuse my language here, Elena), the damn media, including all these electronic toys as friends they own and use, the damn television and all the terrible and disgusting commercials that are aimed at these young and so vulnerable young people. All of these things must and I stress, must be carefully monitored. Actually most of these young kids shouldn't have most of these toys and material stuff at the ages they do.
Oh, yes Elena, you have pushed a button for me. I am very frightened for the future of these kids and "parents." and you know the alarming thing is and you know this is that kids love rules and guidelines ... they want and need to know their limits. And the biggest thing is that is one sure way you can show your love for the children. It shows a child that someone cares about them ... someone loves them enough to care. I could go on and on here ... this is something I feel passionate about. Am certainly interested in reading subsequent posts.
Apologies here Elena ... I am writing this on an iPad and it's a bit tricky for one to edit on the darn thing. lol
One more thing I'd like to add is as I live in this huge multiple-cultural city for close to 45 years now, I have seen many changes and sad to say not too many are for the good. With regards to this problem of children dressing inappropriately, it doesn't matter what race or culture ... this "behavior and dress problem" has crossed the cultural barriers. Just this morning, I noticed a very pretty Chinese student heading off to school. Well, one would think she was walking down Jarvis Street! I was stopped at a red light and as I looked at her crossing in front of me, I just shook my head and said out loud, "oh, my God!"
Yes, it was a great article. I think she hit it spot on with the mixed feelings many moms have about their own pasts... nervous because they really don't want their daughters to repeat their mistakes. ::ahem:: I feel very keenly the desire to protect my daughters and to engender respect for women and girls in my sons. Dress is a part of it but by no means the only issue that needs addressed.
In that vein, I've been reading a lot of Betty Beguiles lately! ;)
rebecca, I was listening to a speaker the other day who was saying that parents are so reluctant to speak strongly to their children about clothing, sexual morality etc. precisely because of the mistakes of their pasts. i.e. They feel that they are hypocrites. But, the key is that they are only hypocrites if they feel that their mistakes weren't wrong or if they have not fully repented of them. If one can legitimately admit wrongdoing then there is absolutely nothing hypocritical about advising your kids to live differently. In fact, I would say that one has even greater credibility. and, on the Betty beguiles notes, i could buy all the dresses at shabby apple.
I'd like to add that for most parents it is extremely difficult to to take a stand against the outside influences of today's society, such as I mentioned in my post above. Most of today's children are being raised by people outside the home such as day care schools, etc. There are so few families such as yours that are able to afford the mom to stay at home to instill all the desired values we want in our children. In the huge cities such as Toronto where the living costs are high both parents are required to pay the bills and in a lot of cases, the children lose out unfortunately. I agree that in some cases, parents are reluctant to speak up to their kids, but for other reasons as well. It's a lot easier to pacify a child by giving her/him what they want, rather than what they need. In my experience as a primary school teacher for nearly 35 years, I saw lots of evidence of this ... it was always so much easier for the parent to give in, but down the road I knew that the parent would most likely pay dearly for making the wrong choice at that moment.
6 comments:
Thanks Elena for posting this ... I was and still am aware of this major problem living here in "The Big City". I saw evidence of it every day in the kindergarten classes I taught and it worries me so much, it sickens me. I see it every day in the malls and think, " how do the moms today allow their kids out of the house looking like, well, as it says in the article, like hookers! It's terrible, disgusting and very frightening.
I had little four and five year olds dressed up like an 18 year old and I'd look at the parents questionably. We were told as teachers that we had to so careful and diplomatic in what we said to the parent with regards to this problem.
So many things to blame, society, the media for sure, retailers, big time!, the education system and parents. I would think that a lot of parents are so busy making a living, etc., that they are not taking the time to fulfill their first and most important responsibility of parenting responsibly. I often wonder why they had kids at all. The children are left on their own to bring themselves up with the (excuse my language here, Elena), the damn media, including all these electronic toys as friends they own and use, the damn television and all the terrible and disgusting commercials that are aimed at these young and so vulnerable young people.
All of these things must and I stress, must be carefully monitored. Actually most of these young kids shouldn't have most of these toys and material stuff at the ages they do.
Oh, yes Elena, you have pushed a button for me. I am very frightened for the future of these kids and "parents." and you know the alarming thing is and you know this is that kids love rules and guidelines ... they want and need to know their limits. And the biggest thing is that is one sure way you can show your love for the children. It shows a child that someone cares about them ... someone loves them enough to care.
I could go on and on here ... this is something I feel passionate about. Am certainly interested in reading subsequent posts.
Apologies here Elena ... I am writing this on an iPad and it's a bit tricky for one to edit on the darn thing. lol
One more thing I'd like to add is as I live in this huge multiple-cultural city for close to 45 years now, I have seen many changes and sad to say not too many are for the good. With regards to this problem of children dressing inappropriately, it doesn't matter what race or culture ... this "behavior and dress problem" has crossed the cultural barriers. Just this morning, I noticed a very pretty Chinese student heading off to school. Well, one would think she was walking down Jarvis Street! I was stopped at a red light and as I looked at her crossing in front of me, I just shook my head and said out loud, "oh, my God!"
Yes, it was a great article. I think she hit it spot on with the mixed feelings many moms have about their own pasts... nervous because they really don't want their daughters to repeat their mistakes. ::ahem:: I feel very keenly the desire to protect my daughters and to engender respect for women and girls in my sons. Dress is a part of it but by no means the only issue that needs addressed.
In that vein, I've been reading a lot of Betty Beguiles lately! ;)
rebecca, I was listening to a speaker the other day who was saying that parents are so reluctant to speak strongly to their children about clothing, sexual morality etc. precisely because of the mistakes of their pasts. i.e. They feel that they are hypocrites. But, the key is that they are only hypocrites if they feel that their mistakes weren't wrong or if they have not fully repented of them. If one can legitimately admit wrongdoing then there is absolutely nothing hypocritical about advising your kids to live differently. In fact, I would say that one has even greater credibility. and, on the Betty beguiles notes, i could buy all the dresses at shabby apple.
I'd like to add that for most parents it is extremely difficult to to take a stand against the outside influences of today's society, such as I mentioned in my post above.
Most of today's children are being raised by people outside the home such as day care schools, etc.
There are so few families such as yours that are able to afford the mom to stay at home to instill all the desired values we want in our children. In the huge cities such as Toronto where the living costs are high both parents are required to pay the bills and in a lot of cases, the children lose out unfortunately.
I agree that in some cases, parents are reluctant to speak up to their kids, but for other reasons as well. It's a lot easier to pacify a child by giving her/him what they want, rather than what they need. In my experience as a primary school teacher for nearly 35 years, I saw lots of evidence of this ... it was always so much easier for the parent to give in, but down the road I knew that the parent would most likely pay dearly for making the wrong choice at that moment.
Time for a post, it's been two weeks! something, anything.
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