Funny things I've overheard lately

1. Joseph and Benjamin were in the backyard this morning waiting for me to hustle my buns and take them for a walk. While I tied my shoes, I overheard Benjamin speaking to our dog, Sammy while passing him a ball.
"Sammy, throw it! Throw the ball!"
When that didn't work, he switched tactics, "Sammy, kick the ball! Kick it!"
Maybe I should take them to a playgroup.

2. As Jacob and Hannah crest the six-year old hill on their way to maturity, their arguments have become slightly more involved than the standard, "Noooooo!!!! Mommy!!!!! He hit me." In fact, the other day I overheard this one:
"Hannah, you are always ordering me around!"
To which Hannah replied, "No I'm not! I can't order you around because I don't even know what that means!"
So, there.

3. Benjamin has a favourite baseball cap that he wears at every possible moment. It has a scene of Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger going on safari emblazoned above its peak. Benjamin calls this hat his Poonie-the-Pooh hat. We haven't had the heart to tell him otherwise and we now call Benjamin Poonie.

4. Jacob, while proving to be an excellent reader, struggles with his printing. I feel for the guy as my writing is barely legible and a constant source of friction between me and my beloved. So, I had to laugh when Hannah told me the other day that their teacher had remarked that Jacob's printing had improved. I asked what had happened to ameliorate the chicken scrawl and Hannah replied without batting a lash, "Oh, Mrs. B. gave him a left-handed pencil."

5. I think that I've mentioned before that Benjo is a bit of an introvert. However, lately he has been making valiant efforts to come out of his shell. For the past six months or so he apparently decided that, when in public, it would be good to have a stock phrase that he can pull out of his hat. He usually manages this one greeting and then retreats behind the body parts of the closest family member. He began his foray into extroversion with the classic, "Hi, I'm Benjamin. This is my brother, Jo-Jo." He then moved on to the slightly more interesting, "I go to the farm tomorrow. Grandpa rides on the tractor." While providing information regarding his grand-paternity as well as his agricultural affinity, this phrase did prove confusing as an opening line. Thus, he has settled on a new ice-breaker which was undoubtedly inspired by a find he made in Grandpa's barn, "Last night Grandpa cut off the deer's head." Surprisingly, he has met with a great deal of success with this latest opener. On Monday, we were buying Christmas lights at the local hardware store when I heard him approach the man at the paint counter and tell him about Grandpa and the deer's head. The paint man looked up with interest and replied, "I did that too last night." I think we've found a winner.