Snippets of family life

 I find these sorts of posters lying around the house on a regular basis.  The no-displays-of-literacy clause never fails to give me a chuckle.  Yes, these invitations to the sideshow are courtesy of Jacob.

 Speaking of other things that I find on a regular basis:  photos taken by either Isaac or Sarah on the iPad.  I have absolutely no recollection of this one being taken but it reminded me of my parents' experience of Facetime with the Afelskie grandchildren:  Isaac's teeth loom large.

 And another shot by one of the two youngest.

 The piece de resistance, a still life.  This photo is so superb in its quality that there are several of them in the iPhoto archives.  There are even three movies of varying lengths, all short clips, all still lifes.  To delete or not to delete, that is the question.

 What is a post without mention of the weather.  The polar vortex looms as large in our lives as do Isaac's teeth on Facetime.  These photos are real-life representations of the Afelskie children getting ready to go to school in January.

 The four oldest don their winter protection, buckle on their backpacks and wait in line at the door until the first in line yells, "One, two, three, go!" at which point they whip open the front door, bravely throw themselves into the elements and run to school.  It's all a little like exile under Stalin.  Did I mention that one of the main roads in our town is called Siberia Rd?  It provides the only access to the hospital.

 Scarves are technically illicit outerwear on the schoolyard what with the potential for strangulation.  I have yet to receive a warning.

 Isaac laughing in the face of the winter temperatures.  Just wait until he starts school.

With the outdoors somewhat removed as a viable arena of play, the kitchen sink becomes an alternative.

 Backward pants and all.

I am finding these two playing together a lot more now that Sarah is close to two years old.  I feel somewhat vindicated as I watch their friendship grow.  Why, you ask?  When I was in the early stages of my pregnancy with Sarah, I went to my first prenatal appointment where I anticipated some raised eyebrows about a sixth baby.  Thus, I steeled myself for disparaging remarks and formulated a reply.  The disparaging remarks never came and my doctor was as gracious as she always is.  However, I still felt that my pre-formulated reply was too good to be left unsaid.  So I began, "Well, Dave and I felt that all the kids are in pairs:  Jacob and Hannah, Ben and Joe.  So, we decided that Isaac needed a buddy."  My doctor didn't miss a beat, arched her eyebrow and smilingly asked, "So, Isaac was lonely?"  Touche, dear doctor.  Nevertheless, I still feel vindicated as Isaac is clearly not lonely; moreover, he is part of a beautiful relationship with his little sister, his "Sa".

The dreaded months

January and February, the dreaded months.  For the past 11years (yes, since the advent of my stay-at-home venture) the first two months of the year, the coldest  and hardest that winter brings, have been my nemesis.  They hit me like a ton of bricks with their bitter cold and snowy landscapes punctuated by little other than the occasional bird or fence post standing like a sentinel against the cold.  Emotionally they magnify any feeling of depression, anxiety and restlessness that has been lurking around the periphery of my mind.

This year, I think that the shock of the weather in  Texas along with a few other details combined to create the perfect emotional storm.  However, this year, I am not going to allow this storm to hold me hostage, holding out for the first whiffs of spring that one is allowed to imagine are in the air come March.  No, this year, I was wise enough to take stock of my situation and realise a few crucial details about my personality that need feeding if I am to make it through this season.

The first of these details is that there is a part of me that is very extroverted and, if not fed, I begin to wither and melt into a puddle of sadness.  Therefore, I have to get together with people; chance encounters in the grocery store just don't cut it anymore!  So, I am stepping out of the proverbial comfort zone and phoning people just to talk or check if they want to come over for tea.

I also realised that I was waiting on Dave to approve our social life.  What do I mean?  Dave works in an intensely social job.  For eight hours of the day he is surrounded by thirty thirteen-year-olds who genuinely like him and want to be with him.  They want to be teased by him, confide in him, play sports with him and be mentored by him.  Not to mention the discipline.  In a small school like ours, he teaches them every single subject except for French.  His lunch hours are short and often taken up with meetings, clubs and volunteer activities.  Sometimes these students are at our door for a chat or
for extra tutoring.  We both love his job and are extremely thankful for it.  Nevertheless, by the end of the day and especially the week, he is socially spent.  I, however, am not.

My week has been spent in near isolation waiting for the activity of the weekend and the chance to see someone, anyone.  For 11 years these two solitudes have been colliding on Friday evenings.  It is only  this year that I have begun to realise that I have got to do something about this.  So, I am.  I had foolishly thought that I needed to keep our schedule ultra-quiet for Dave's sake so that he could recharge for his work week.  I did this at my expense.  While noble and self-sacrificial on a very low level, as the saying goes (and Dave is apt to quote), if momma ain't happy, ain't no one happy.  So, we are finding a happier medium.

This happier medium is comprised of my new understanding that Dave really doesn't mind staying at
home with all the kids, or some of them, while I go out to a friend's house or to a social function.  In fact, he quite likes it.  As well, he really doesn't mind when I arrange a date for us, either just the two of us or with friends.  We have both realised that, in my dad's words, sometimes we just need to go out even when we don't feel like it.  The proof is in the pudding:  even when I haven't slept well the night before, I still feel better going out than having stayed in the house bemoaning my situation.

An example?   This weekend our friends at the local Catholic college needed some people to help serve their winter semi-formal dinner and dance.  I suggested that Dave could round up some of his students, both past and present.  We found three girls willing to serve tables and wash dishes but we still needed more.  So, I volunteered myself and Jacob and Hannah.  The twins are terribly excited, they get to dress up, spend an evening out, watch the students swing dance and stay up late.  Wait, are those my sentiments or theirs?  Also, my ulterior  motive is that these three grade-nine girls are going to be exposed to a far different culture than they are used to at the high school dances.  These are three girls whose strength of character is beginning to show.  They are at that critical point in life where they are deciding whether or not to throw themselves into drinking, sexual activity and the
culture of death.  Thankfully, they have eyes to see through the photos posted on Facebook and the condoms in health class.  So, on Saturday night, perhaps they will glimpse a little bit of the culture of life.  (It helps that some of the Academy boys are very good looking.)

Anyway, that is the plan for now.  We shall see how it works.

Better blog before I forget

 Well, Texas.  What can I say?  Other than my sister and her beautiful family, the weather really was the highlight of the trip.  No, it was not 20 degrees; but there was no snow.  Did you hear that?  NO SNOW!!!!  There is a lot of snow here.  The piles are so high that one needs to pause while exiting the driveway in order to crane one's neck around the snowbanks to check for oncoming vehicles.  Such behaviour is entirely unnecessary in Texas.  The mornings started somewhere around zero degrees but quickly warmed up as the strength of the sun increased.

 Just in case you didn't believe me - a real live Texas license plate.  Well, not technically alive, more of a live-inanimate license plate.  Anyway, I was there;  if you look closely enough you can see Sarah and I distorted on the trunk of the card.  Sort of like one of those unapproved apparitions of Our Lady.

Pansies!  They can plant flowers in January!  Next to real live grass.  Notice how many things are alive in Texas?

 Including the camellia.  The particular area where my sister lives is known for its roses and azaleas.  We were too early for the azalea blooms but the camellia were just starting to brighten the bushes.

 A mere thirty minutes into our morning walk and Sarah had already discarded her winter hat.

 I found this especially funny and actually wondered if there had been a sale on bright green spray paint.  I asked my brother-in-law, whose first degree was in horticulture, and he told me that the grass on the left is the sort of dead stuff that lies under our banks of snow while the stuff on the right is called winter rye and is planted when the winter comes.  The only downside is that one still has to mow the lawn.  Is there even a toss-up between mowing the lawn and shoveling the drive?

 The brick roads in the Azalea District.  Can you imagine these in the North?  Am I making you depressed?  Or perhaps hopeful that somewhere outside of our wintry world exists a place paved in red bricks.

 And on an entirely different note:  aren't the grocery-store cakes in Texas different than ours?  I've never seen colours so vivid on Canadian cakes.  Nor have I seen an animal-print cake.  Now I am hungry; this doesn't change either side of the Canadian border.

 Tinfoil-wrapped palm trees.  Palm trees are not native to this part of Texas and thus have to be protected against the winter.  I am looking forward to the week before Easter.

 One morning my mother and I brought Sarah to the local zoo.  Don't let the word local deceive you into thinking mediocre (especially those of you from Barry's Bay - there are no camo-clad locals in sight); this zoo was a work of art and filled with exotic animals.  Unfortunately the rhino, hippo, giraffe and elephant wouldn't emerge from their warmer shelters.

This made me laugh because any black bears around here are asleep.

 The white tiger was extraordinarily beautiful and completely nonplussed by Sarah (who was wearing socks on her hand because I had forgotten her mittens).

 Lest you think that socks can stop one of my children from eating chips, think again.  The ability to eat chips in any and all circumstances is completely inherited from their mother.

Unfortunately this cougar was interested in 19-month old girls and not chips.  His frantic pacing and desperation to get out of the enclosure and eat Sarah was terrifying.  My blood pressure rose and I couldn't stop looking behind me even after we had fled the scene.  Yikes.  That's all for now, photos of family in the next post.

For posterity's sake

 My parents bought the kids the complete set of Saints books by Mary Fabyan Windeatt.  I had asked them if they would consider this purchase their Christmas gift as the books are a hidden tool of catechesis.  The twins, who love to read, devour these books since they are written in the style of a novel.  My real motive was a need to catechise the kids on the sly i.e.  freeing me up from directly teaching them.  The result?  So far, it looks like my plan is working.

Hannah: (after learning about the gifts of the Holy Spirit from her gr. 5 teacher) What is the fear of The Lord?  Does that mean that I need to be scared of God because He is so powerful and can hurt me?
Jacob:  No, Hannah, that sounds a bit too much like Jansenism.

And on a slightly less cerebral note:  Isaac noticed that I was wearing new boots today.  (A friend lent them to me to try on for size and fit.) He remarked, "Nice boots, Mom.  Where'd you get them?  The grocery store?"  Clearly, after my Texan siesta, I am now back to the grind.

Been away

I've been away in Texas for a week with Sarah visiting my older sister and her family.  I lay in the sun, albeit weak by Texas standards, on their front lawn in digits that rose (not descended) into the double digits.  Dave hunkered down (and cooked multiple meals) with five kids in the frigid and dark Canadian north.  You can guess which one of us is glad to be back at work.  The kids seem unusually willing to gorge themselves on fruits and vegetables...  Back soon with photos.